San Mateo County coroner said both victims were female, one an adult, the other 16 years old.
1+6 is ... what, again? That sounds familiar. Weren't there
16 crew members? Weren't there supposed to be
61 Americans on board?
777_you_were_expecting.JPGOh, that's right, thanks NBC. Thanks. 7. And 7. Not really on topic, though. Sorry about that. We were talking about a crash? Patient ages range from 20 to 76 years. Wait, or was that the date of the event 7/6/20-something? Anyway I guess it's not important as long as we just absorb those numbers. Let's all do that now. 7. 6. 20. Got it.
Back to the crash ...
They received four
waves of patients, much like four waves of nostalgia for those four airplanes from that other time this feeling reminds us of ...
777_cut-out.JPGLise, are you there, Lise? You say you're
at the hospital? Are you
sure about that? Can you please confirm the studio lighting is on a pole and not fastened to an outdoor ceiling? Can you assure us the pole is straighter than those sad lamp posts behind you? That
is behind you, isn't it?
Hilarious narrative at 2:55, something like:
"We really want to thank our on-site Jew-witness Benjamin Levy for being so very on the air and so very Jewish. We know it's hard out there. Chilling. Fascinating."(Except fewer comments about the Jewishness.)
They have a raw, unedited 15 to 20 minute interview. Unedited, you know, from 20 minutes down to an unedited 15 minutes. Whatever. It's fucking raw alright? He has some broken ribs. That's why he was there. Okay? He
has a reason to be there!
Stop questioning us! [The beating of that terrible heart ...]Cheryl lets us know we
"can believe it by looking at that video." (She doesn't let us know if we
may believe it.) She also lets us know (with a pre-fab video presentation) that we can believe eye-witnesses (who have presumably since gone home to see the footage on TV and are no where to be found anywhere in the video) assure us they saw the plane
"look strange" just before landing, watching the plane's tail
"land first" at which point the tail
"broke off!"777_tail_off.JPGI'd
love to see the "gas station security camera" video explaining this.
They also managed to remember to actually include "waiting friends and loved ones" in this story. Don't believe me? Here he is!
777_friendsandlovedones.JPGHere he is, in the flesh, "Wei Ting Frenz Anlovtwans"! The one and only! I have depicted an "arrow" on this "screen grab" so that you can tell where "he" "is". You might not be able to see his eyes (or confirm that he has them, despite our reporter's ever-so-straining craning neck to get a look for herself) but he's a bit shy, being a celebrity and all. He's worried that the waiver he signed allows the news media's modern technology to alter his appearance without his permission. So that's got him bugged a bit. Shy. Friends and family. Alright? Moving on.
There were 307 people aboard the plane and ...
777_empty.JPGApparently not much else!We apologize to customers who pre-purchased seats this flight. We will not be able to provide seats for most of you. However, if you purchased a ticket before April, we can offer you these inflatable cushions for only 50000 won.The video gets more and more hilarious as time progresses. Near the end, a friendly Asiana Airlines employee tells us a very sad story indeed. Some of the children
lost their shoes during this disaster, so in addition to blankets to comfort people in the 70-degree sun, they also went to get shoes for the children. (Good thing Korean shoes are among the cheapest and most mass produced on the planet. They probably just pulled open the nearest
ajuma's luggage and started distributing, right?)
It is still unclear why we are saying there were people in the water, nearby. We are postulating that either people were
thrown from the airplane into the water, voluntarily rushed several yards at top speed with their bodies on fire, in order to douse themselves and their flaming bodies into the water
because they were on fucking fire, or if some passengers just wanted to have some thrilling, cold, skinnydipping panic-sex to celebrate life. We'll come back to that story later, when we find out our latest hoax is floundering quicker than a lead goldfish.
77 people were Korean nationals.
7 were of "unknown nationality" (possibly the Democratic State of Disbelief?)
Ha ha ha ... haaa ... No, sorry, I am not letting that go. They are on an
international flight, they are listed on the
manifest, and they had passports in
what fucking nationality?!Oh, and 141 were Chinese people nobody can possibly look up on a database.
http://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/local/Bo ... 83741.htmlWell of course the two dead happen to be that particular nationality.
Okay, both 16.
Adding up to 7. And 7.
That's it, I'm done. This is too much bullshit. Thanks, bye.
Oh, and NBC. The blatant falseness of this story does
not constitute an apology for your lies on 9/11, 7/7 and every other hoax of the century.
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