Miscellaneous NASA comedies

If NASA faked the moon landings, does the agency have any credibility at all? Was the Space Shuttle program also a hoax? Is the International Space Station another one? Do not dismiss these hypotheses offhand. Check out our wider NASA research and make up your own mind about it all.
Starbucked
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Re: Miscellaneous NASA comedies

Unread post by Starbucked »

This video shows NASA raising a Delta IV rocket in preparation to test the Orion Multi-Purpose Crew Vehicle which will take, we must believe, actornauts to the Moon, Mars and beyond.

Take note of the cloud cover which shows some fairly clear sky and some fairly cloudy sky.

At the end of the video, from 12:35, NASA has gifted us with a time-lapse of the event which shows mostly cloudy skies which become almost fully cloudy by the end! :blink:

Are we watching 2 separate events, or a CGI movie? If you answered 'CGI movie' give yourself a pat on the back. :P


full link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkxNHSAAkyw

NASA - Fakery in Orbit Since 1958™
simonshack
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Re: Miscellaneous NASA comedies

Unread post by simonshack »

*
You've gotta love this one... Simmon says... :wub: http://qz.com/192700/the-guy-who-create ... o-fake-it/


"Simmon readily admits there are numerous fakeries in his image." :rolleyes:

"The guy who created the iPhone’s Earth image explains why he needed to fake it"
Image
"Simmon readily admits there are numerous fakeries in his image. The atmosphere is Photoshop blur. Some of the clouds are collaged together using Photoshop’s clone tool to cover gaps in the satellite’s coverage. The black area around the earth is not the void of space. It is simply a background of black color that Simmon placed the earth on top of. (This is standard practice, Simmon says: most actual “photographs” of the earth—including the Apollo images—present the planet on a black background)."
(...)
"Simmon and his colleague at NASA at the time, Reto Stöckli, created the iconic image that ended up on the iPhone in part to undercut what he saw as undeserving operators profiting in the marketplace for space imagery, he told Quartz. At the time, he recalled, similar falsely colored images rendered from older black-and-white NASA data were selling for up to $10,000. Simmon and Stöckli’s image, as a work created by US government employees, was in the public domain—free for anyone to use, for any purpose, without restriction. Simmon posted it on the NASA website and didn’t think much more of it."
Yes, you read that well, but just in case you missed it - here it is again: "Simmon and Stöckli’s image, as a work created by US government employees, was in the public domain—free for anyone to use, for any purpose, without restriction."
hoi.polloi
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Re: Miscellaneous NASA comedies

Unread post by hoi.polloi »

Oh, have you folks been watching the NASA channel? I meant to comment on something about it. It watches almost exactly like an ongoing Religious service.

I had some time to kill and spent several hours just actually watching the NASA channel and this is what they presented:

People moving and holding cables, taping random pieces of substance to seemingly nonsensical mechanisms, extremely long shots of people awkwardly holding something or fiddling with it, moving it, tying something to a rope or untying it, with no discernible purpose or logical, physical reason for them to be doing so, shots of people looking off screen at apparently someone making some sort of direction while near absolute silence filled the air, shots of people pointing at unclear things, apparently giving direction or taking direction in absurdly unclear and unrealistic fashion that results in no understandable difference in action, seemingly improvising behaviors of authority and importance while looking helpless, distracted and/or confused about what the fuck they were doing, pausing in front of the camera, slightly hiding their face from the camera; and so on.

It has all the hallmarks of a pointless but hallowed, religious ritual. It reminds me of sporting events where some of the greatest acting you see is from the coaches who appear to be pretending to be really invested in something they don't quite give more than two shits about. Only far worse. Far less convincing.

After some moments of this, whereby nothing of interest or clear direction actually happens, and the sense really sets in that you are watching the human movement of overgrown kindergarten activities simply because all baffling human movement generally gains attention even if nothing can be gleaned from observation of it, and the combined use of high technology like swimming pools and robotic arms makes it seem as though a very high budget must have been used to achieve something in this absurd display, the act abruptly ends.

Often, the footage suddenly ended with a glowing blue title card, as seen in the video posted by Starbucked. Many of the NASA shots have this kind of title card. They used to be brighter blue and resemble primitive computer displays. I think I even remember robotic voices reading the text as if to hypnotically emphasize just how mundane the absurd activities are. Now they are slightly more "graphics-y", which makes them all the more like some kind of Catholic TV graphics.

Oh, the title cards with mission briefings and names and numbers — hilarious — they parallel religious texts with seemingly significant references to the pages or numbers of the text's passage. If you watch the Christian TV channels, you will know what I mean. NASA is a religious service with a highly elite force of the chronically duped, the willful idiots and the magicians.

How many scenes of embedded people sitting in a room of embedded computers, watching unexplained data, twiddling unexplained nobs, pushing buttons, talking to the disembodied, occasionally rewarded by maudlin quips from off-screen actors! How absurd is it that NASA claims to pride itself on these staff members gluing themselves to this apparently helpless sort of ritualistic activity instead of watching the most supposedly amazing launches happening just behind them?

Like the Christian channels or Pope channels in Italy, the NASA services are quite dry and boring things to watch, and are a parody of and compliment to the internal experience of the believer. I think this is done on purpose in a mockery of believers, not to mention to borrow the ways in which such things can actually attract the sense that NASA must have the power and force of true believers. Not that they don't. Not that they don't have the right to mock such a thing, but in this case it seems to be done with the explicit intent of pulling not a "fast one" but a very "slow one" on its audience.

The movements are so-o-o slow, so-o-o boring and dull, people will tend to wonder, How could anyone believe this is fake? It's obviously not hypnotizing anyone because it can't even keep attention!

But that thought is misguided. It is its incredibly insipid and boring nature that makes it so believable to the vast majority. Because what is happening isn't the surface. The unimpressive surface is just the reinforcement of an internal belief dynamo constantly checking the slow, little details of the display. Just as God or Allah doesn't make a personal appearance in the Church, but people may imagine to witness the transformation of someone as they devoutly continue their rituals inside the temple, so NASA brings forth its fabricated evidence both more subtle than but more powerful than evidence of Religious truth, for those demanding their senses be satisfied rather than their soul — which they are possibly more likely not to believe in anyway if they are a strong NASA proponent.

It is just this intense level of stupidity and absurdity in the filmed, special effects enhanced, repetitive NASA ritual-spectacles that makes them so obviously something that wishes to be believed. It wishes to be taken very seriously. Boring things are serious. Boring things are highly educated and highly thought out. It's like the false belief that if it tastes bad it must be good for you. So the diving airplane simulating a zero-G environment is the transubstantiation of a man into an astro-man. So the computer-animated front down "stage detachments" of the shuttle launches serve as the miracle of progressive thermodynamic defeat of zero-atmosphere pressure, where normally thrust would be increasingly useless. The rocket literally reaches a heaven beyond the physical realm, where physics no longer matters or is relevant, because there it is! It's in "space" — it has achieved a technological enlightenment like the Tower of Babylon failed to bring us. Never mind that this is physically impossible and describes a shape to the cosmos and the Earth for which we have inadequate evidence. We can see it achieved. Seeing is believing. Wonder bolt that shuttle to the rocket like a stake into the wrist of your Lord and Savior.

But if you sit and watch the NASA channel for hours, you will notice it is one little Religious, gnostic-paganistic-wiccan sort of magic show after another, complete with people going through otherwise meaningless motions and activities, title cards like a Religious service, and a totally Kubrick-like lingering on vaguely interesting, just believable "high technology" feats of human activity, which disguises itself as dry, innocuous "insight" into "every day" activities of this supposedly valuable American enterprise of killing God. Or better yet, replacing the Creator with a more powerful, more evident physical force that doesn't require deep insight or mental exercise. Simply plug yourself into your seat and let NASA take you to the realm of the inner eye of the United States' panopticon of all physical existence. Trust us, we're experts. And clearly, you are not.

The entire thing is an enormous charade used to pump money from a public who are burnt out from the promises of another realm, who wish to find some power that is like God but doesn't resemble the one used as a tool of manipulation by the corrupt Church — the all-seeing all-knowing agreements of the elite who bravely dive into their perfect, mechanistic utopia of a perfectly predictable universe without mystery (well, just a little mystery, but don't worry; NASA will figure that out, too) so that you don't have to. The figures and projects and humbling graphics are practically icing compared to the cake of the launch videos. Those videos (and the false, supposedly great promises of non-existent satellites replacing tools and functioning equipment we already have in plenty firmly on Earth) are the main fund raising reasons used to fuel both legitimate projects and the entirely illegitimate selfsame ads — the hoaxes that serve as the very advertising for the continued charade of continuing the advertising, and literal faith in the government as an authority on all of Creation. Lord knows where the extra money is funneled besides paying the actors and producing the Hollywood spectacles. It probably funds tiny little sad departments like SETI and Space Camp, while the majority of anything even left goes to black budget research, typical military applications or private coffers. Some military dimes tossed their way to launch a missile or land a funny-looking plane or pod or some-such. And the only investment they have to make in marketing is these public release videos accompanied by various announcements of "plans" and "progress" that might have been made at Los Alamos or Virginia Research Triangle or some other Pentagon warehouse somewhere, and which NASA gets credit for because NASA has to occasionally legitimize its existence beyond the Religious rites.

Canceled for bad weather. Oh, the suspense! Woops, an explosion anyway. Perfect launch, away she goes. God-sized rocket-powered penises penetrating the mysteries. Look, it's all swirly up there. The colors of my discovery. Woopdie doo. It's like the table talk at a church basement buffet, only it's openly perverse and arrogant rather than clandestinely so.
Starbucked
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Re: Miscellaneous NASA comedies

Unread post by Starbucked »

Interesting observations Hoi.
As you stated, near silence fills the air of all these hangar, technical and launch prep videos. This goes for the Kazakhstan videos too.

There is a strange disconnect between the visuals in the video and the audio that one might expect to hear in a rocket hangar with a bunch of dudes working. Is there a gag order? Silence please we're filming? Or perhaps the audio is added separately.

One constant is a mechanical humming/ buzzing noise that is pervasive in many Nasa launch/rocket prep videos. In the video I posted above, in both the indoor and outdoor segments, you can hear virtually the same sound through most of the duration of the video.
I've also noticed almost the exact same mechanical hum in the ISS videos and a video taken in an underwater housing lab that NASA was running. (will add if I can find it)

Makes me wonder if this noise is added during post production for hypnotic effect. (go to sleep little sheeple, go to sleep) :P
lux
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Re: Miscellaneous NASA comedies

Unread post by lux »

I think you guys are being too hard on NASA. What may seem to us to be mundane pointless activities are in actuality brilliant tasks carried out by geniuses whose intelligence far outstrips our own.

Take, for example, NASA's own staff sniffer, George Aldrich.

George was born with an unusual protuberance on his face illustrated here …
Image

… which can actually detect odors emitted from objects!

What George does is pretty technical and obviously beyond the understanding of mere mortals such as ourselves but I think this video may begin to describe George's 40-year career at NASA:


full link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayemv0XMfxw

“I play games with odors,” says George, “while other people might just smell something and move on.”

Thanks for explaining, George. That's incredible!

George works with Susana Harper, the manager of NASA's Nasal Lab.
Image

Susana explains:
“Here on the ground if there is some kind of foul odor … it eventually airs out. What is causing that smell to go away is really the dilution of additional air coming in.”

Wow! So, I guess our bathrooms would smell better if we opened a window! Thanks for explaining that, Susanna! No wonder NASA employees have such big salaries!

**********************************************************************

But, unfortunately, there is one thing George can't smell ...
Image
His employer!
Last edited by lux on Wed Nov 12, 2014 3:34 pm, edited 2 times in total.
gwynned
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Re: Miscellaneous NASA comedies

Unread post by gwynned »

Lux, that video is hysterical. NASA's missions are dependent on George's sense of smell??????

Speaking smells, I couldn't help but comment on this latest effort of Philae to land on a comet! I know it's not NASA it's the ESA, but still seems appropriate to place here.
Rosetta's readings already have provided some interesting twists. For example, the volatile chemicals on the comet's surface would probably smell like a mixture of rotten eggs, embalming fluid and horse urine.
And now a word from William Shatner - Aye, Captain!!


full link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yY2SGPtRmnA
hoi.polloi
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Re: Miscellaneous NASA comedies

Unread post by hoi.polloi »

rotten eggs, embalming fluid and horse urine.
Right. Pungent odors aren't memorable or brain-penetrating at all. :rolleyes:

Two can play the "inject world building into descriptive text" game, NA$A!

It would also smell like freshly poured tar, gasoline, a new car, Grandma's pantry, and the olympic-sized swimming pool where they film the ISS spacewalk sequences. :D
anonjedi2
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Re: Miscellaneous NASA comedies

Unread post by anonjedi2 »

European probe lands on comet, fails to anchor

:rolleyes:

Last week, NASA couldn't get a rocket off of the ground.

This week they claim they've landed a tiny little probe on a tiny little flying rock after a 4 BILLION mile journey. Of course there are exactly zero clear pictures or video of the supposed landing.

It doesn't get more ridiculous than this, folks.

http://news.yahoo.com/probe-heads-towar ... 23386.html
bostonterrierowner
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Re: Miscellaneous NASA comedies

Unread post by bostonterrierowner »

anonjedi2 wrote:European probe lands on comet, fails to anchor

:rolleyes:

Last week, NASA couldn't get a rocket off of the ground.

This week they claim they've landed a tiny little probe on a tiny little flying rock after a 4 BILLION mile journey. Of course there are exactly zero clear pictures or video of the supposed landing.

It doesn't get more ridiculous than this, folks.

http://news.yahoo.com/probe-heads-towar ... 23386.html
Polish MSM is all over this fairy tale. I have just heard certain professor on the radio taking a credit for constructing some drilling device being a part of this "probe" .

Beyond ridiculous :)
Makkonen
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Re: Miscellaneous NASA comedies

Unread post by Makkonen »

That a meteorological institute (Finnish in this instance) claims to have provided "technology" for this "mission" and is fawning over the "event" is all I need to know about its integrity, taking also into consideration its unrelenting scaremongering about fauxpocalyptic "climate change". Corruption is everywhere.

http://en.ilmatieteenlaitos.fi/press-release/29239004
anonjedi2
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Re: Miscellaneous NASA comedies

Unread post by anonjedi2 »

NASA Discovers Hidden Portals In Earth’s Magnetic Field
Our planet has come a long way in scientific breakthroughs and discoveries. Mainstream science is beginning to discover new concepts of reality that have the potential to change our perception about our planet and the extraterrestrial environment that surrounds it forever. Star gates, wormholes, and portals have been the subject of conspiracy theories and theoretical physics for decades, but that is all coming to an end as we continue to grow in our understanding about the true nature of our reality.
The first sentence reassures us that we are an advanced species capable of great technological achievements and discoveries, just to remind us that this is all very possible, should we show an ounce of skepticism. The use of the word "extraterrestrial" sets the table to plant the seed that extraterrestrials from another galaxy are real and now we have theories about how they travel! You know, all of the theories you've been hearing about in sci-fi movies for decades! Star gates, wormholes, and portals, oh my! These aren't conspiracies any longer, because we are now legitimizing them with a wave of the wand! Time travel will be real too!
In physics, a wormhole was a hypothetical feature of space time that would be a shortcut through space-time. We often wonder how extraterrestrials could travel so far and this could be one of many explanations. Although scientists still don’t really understand what they have found, it does open the mind to many possibilities.
Indeed it does... <_<
Turning science fiction into science fact seems to happen quite often these days and NASA did it by announcing the discovery of hidden portals in Earth’s magnetic field.
:D
NASA calls them X-points or electron diffusion regions. They are places where the magnetic field of Earth connects to the magnetic field of the Sun, which in turn creates an uninterrupted path leading from our own planet to the sun’s atmosphere which is 93 million miles away.
Call me a simpleton, but how exactly does NASA measure the magnetic field of the sun, 93 million miles away?

Any evidence available for any of this stuff?

NASA says that the THEMIS spacecraft, as well as a European Cluster probe are used to examine these "hidden portals". I suspect that the reason they are called "hidden" is because we'll never see any evidence that they exist. :)

Read the full article and a few short videos here:

http://earthweareone.com/nasa-discovers ... tic-field/
Sukiari
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Re: Miscellaneous NASA comedies

Unread post by Sukiari »

bostonterrierowner wrote:
anonjedi2 wrote:European probe lands on comet, fails to anchor

:rolleyes:

Last week, NASA couldn't get a rocket off of the ground.

This week they claim they've landed a tiny little probe on a tiny little flying rock after a 4 BILLION mile journey. Of course there are exactly zero clear pictures or video of the supposed landing.

It doesn't get more ridiculous than this, folks.

http://news.yahoo.com/probe-heads-towar ... 23386.html
Polish MSM is all over this fairy tale. I have just heard certain professor on the radio taking a credit for constructing some drilling device being a part of this "probe" .

Beyond ridiculous :)
Don't blame him. These projects are all compartmentalized and he might well have designed a very fine drill. I think a lot of folks in the space industry are really honest enough, believing that what they are doing and what they build really is being affixed to a bleeping little garbage can and going into space.

But this all adds to the illusion - some day he'll be telling his grandkids that he built a drill that drilled a space rock and this will all reinforce the story.
lux
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Re: Miscellaneous NASA comedies

Unread post by lux »

An accomplished amateur astronomer dissects the recent Rosetta Comet landing hoax:


full link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsgA2cPOyRs
Critical Mass
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Re: Miscellaneous NASA comedies

Unread post by Critical Mass »

I'm not too sure if he is a reliable source (UFO spotter) but yeah this comet thing is pretty silly.

Very silly.
fbenario
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Re: Miscellaneous NASA comedies

Unread post by fbenario »

Critical Mass wrote:I'm not too sure if he is a reliable source (UFO spotter) but yeah this comet thing is pretty silly.

Very silly.
Come on, man, please don't make us click on links to see what you are talking about. All links need short descriptions/explanations so that the reader can decide whether he wants to click on them.
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